Reality Check Passed On

A few days ago, another blogger posted her thoughts on an area of her life that she realized needs changed.  She simply called it Reality Check.   I read said blog post and did what I normally do, which is cruise right along with my own life.   Yesterday, however, I had some "down time"  where I couldn't do anything but think. I began mulling over the last few days and her blog post came back to my mind. 

I, suddenly, no. I really cant say suddenly, it kind of evolved over an hour or so in my mind, that I have a reality check that needs to be dealt with in my own life.  

That REALITY CHECK, is: when I am bored, I start drama for my own entertainment.  I cant honestly at this moment say if it is a life long habit or if it is something rather new, but that is neither here nor there.  I have become very good at saying I don't WANT drama in my own life, which really I don't.  But.. and here is the HUGE BUT....  Social Media make it really easy to involve ourselves with other people's drama and then deny our part in it.  "I didn't start it"(True)  "He/She shouldn't have put it out there if comment wasn't wanted"  (True)  "My view point is warranted" (maybe True, Maybe not so True)  "I was only being the voice of reason" (Maybe, maybe not)  Think of any other reason you can come up with for why you add your voice to a conversation. 

The absolutely TRUTH of the matter is, for me, whether I "get involved" or not is simply a matter of the day. It depends on how occupied my mind is with other matters.   The event in question, in my mind, took place on a day that I had nothing better going at that moment in time,  so why not.   Sure, I can make up any and every excuse I want and call it a good reason, but the reality of the situation is that I knew exactly what the reaction was going to be, I had consciously thought out my steps and the reactions from the others involved and I hit send, knowing what would happen from there.  It was almost as invigorating to me, I believe, as the feelings my husband gets from watching a challenging football game and I do it frequently, with any number of people.  I claim that I do this "to get the other person to think"  and what that really is part of my hope, it isn't my main driving force. 

But the REALITY of the situation is, it has to stop.     I have entirely too many things that NEED my attention to waste time watching for the next installment of Who's Head Will Explode First?

So, my Reality Check is:  From today forward, I am working my program (yes, it may have to be a new 12 step one)  to become a ReFORMED Instigator. 

I had a friend back in elementary school who made me a present for Christmas when we were in probably 6-7th grade, I forget.  She painted on cloth a copy of The Serenity Prayer.  It has hung in my bedroom where it could be one of the first things I saw every morning when I awoke ever since then.  It even went to college with me.   (I don't know if Kim will ever read this blog post, but if she does, yes, I still have that,  along with my belt loom that your dad built.  Two of the things that go everywhere with me. )

Today, it becomes the judgment call foremost in my brain, again.   And, I might add at the ending... and The Fortitude to Just Walk Away.