Sigh.

My Grandmother used to have a saying.  She used this saying at times when she was very down and life was just getting to her.  She used to say " I want to find a hole to climb in and pull the dirt in over me.  I had not thought about that saying in years until something happened yesterday to remind me of it. 

I have been told at various times in my life that I "overthink" things.  I am very sure that is a true statement, I do.  But few of those people understand WHY I over think. 

One day when my son S. was only 6 years old and in first grade, I had had ANOTHER call from his teacher in the first 3 weeks of school.   I was trying to figure out what was actually going on in his class.  I asked him, trying to phrase things in a way my 6 year old could understand, is part of the problem that you think about things during class that aren't what you are supposed to be doing?  his answer to me was, "Yes mom, I guess I think about things that no one else is interested in and sometimes, my brain thinks so much that it totally isolates me." 

Hummmm I wonder where he gets THAT from?


There was another time when I was asked why I was just sitting there, doing nothing instead of being part of the surrounding action.  At that point, my answer was... if I sit here and do nothing and say nothing and think nothing.... I have a 50% chance of doing it right.

So, if I crawl in a hole, pull a blanket in over my head, stop thinking I know what I'm doing and do otherwise nothing, say nothing.... I might not be self  centered, or would that just make me more so?  Cause yeah, I don't do anything for the sake of those around me NOW.  

Stardate 3/19/2013 What Now?

Hurray for me!!!!! Day two I am up at 4:30 and off to business. I have stayed busier than yesterday so I am only on my third cup of coffee. I am however moving more slowly than I had hoped I would. While planning to spend 10 minutes per room today to begin the straightening and decluttering process, I ended up spending 20 minutes each in the livingroom and diningroom, I also had to spend a little more than the 5 minute wipedown that I had planned for there. The good thing is that all of those rooms look almost decent at the moment. I see a great deal more to do when I walk in the room but I'm sure that most other people wouldn't see the things I see.
I also have finished loading the dishwasher and started it running, put a load of clothes in to wash, which is now in the dryer with the 2nd load in the washer. Also, in the oven is a loaf of banana walnut bread for a treat today. I have NOT done well at getting food in the family in the early morning so the bananas were going bad and had to go somewhere fast. Banana bread it is!!!!

I have gathered 2 bags of trash so far today to head for the dumpster. I cannot figure out how to cut the trash among this group but I feel very responsible for filling an entire land fill from my home and business alone.

I still have another 10 minutes to spend in the kitchen which should cover unloading the dishwasher and putting the things I have used this morning in it. I plan to spend 10 minutes in the master bath and 10 more minutes in the master bedroom, as well.

Right now I had to sit down for a few minutes. While my knee down to my ankle is somewhat sore from my fall yesterday, as long as I stay on it oddly enough, it doesnt hurt that much. My shoulder and neck are a different story however. I have done a lot of laundry and folding in the last 3 days plus the things I have done over my head so they feel pretty tender at the moment and probably adding in the fall I am having to take moving my left arm very slowly.

I am going to use this time to listen to one of my Old Testament lessons for about 30 minutes then back at it till time to leave for work.

I am also spending time honestly asking myself why I am doing each of the things I am doing and what my motive is. I honestly believe that my motives are what I think they are but I am having to rethink somethings to make sure. This makes each task take longer at the moment as well.

My lecture series that I am watching are quite honestly for me. The natural healing one is for all of us because its my job to feed and nurse my family and I want to know as much as possible for future events in the world that could cause my to be the family doctor for sure. No one else needs to be as excited about this learning as I am because it is one of those behind the scenes things that goes un noticed. But the Old Testament class is strictly because I love learing more about the Bible.

End of transmission for the moment.

New Direction: By me; for me.

Stardate:  3.18.2013.6am

   I still believe beyond doubt that no man is an island; however at this point, the direction of this blog will be changing.  As of today, this blog is focused by me for me to keep me on track. 

Monday, Up at 4:30 coffee on and washer and dryer started.  I have to continue on with the laundry that I was not able to complete over the weekend.  I have most of 3 loads folded and put away so far but I have run out of hangers so until the boys are up I cant finish hanging those things up.  I have the sheets off the bed in to wash since I had REALLY intended to have that done yesterday but did not get to it.  The exciting part is tonight will be clean sheet night.. No DOG HAIR....

I am also trying to break ozzy of the habit of getting up on the bed in the night.  That will help with the dog hair in the bed as well.  

The house continues to be a wreck but I have devised an idea this morning that I hope will help.  If I set the timer for even 10 minutes at a time, I can make somewhat of a difference in the house over time.  If I start front to back I can start while the coffee is "making" in the morning even if I forget to set the timer on the pot at night. 

4:40-4:50 Livingroom,
4:50-5:00 Diningroom
5:00-5:10 Kitchen
5:10-5:20 Laundry Room
5:20-5:40 Back bathroom
5:40-6:00 Master Bedroom

Somewhere after that I should be able to just run through the front bathroom to keep it going as well.  Today I will both mentally and physically prepare for this new pattern to be established.  I will also be "decluttering" during these 10 minute forays into organization. 

I am really hoping that doing this will free up my weekends to outside tasks:  Painting the outside of the house, Gardening, yard care, cleaning and organizing the garage and storage room. 


Now, add to the first list.  Sheets  through the washer, dryer and now on the bed.  That makes 4 loads that I have folded and put away for this day another load in the dryer driving, and the last load for the day in the washer.  Blueberry muffins baked and out of the oven, dishwasher loaded, dishes washed and unloaded.  Meat cooked to be ready for fajitas for dinner tonight.  I have to go to the store and get tortillas, guacamole, onions, sour cream and maybe something else, but not sure.

Now, I have an hour till time to leave for work so I believe I will start coffee, pot 2, have a cup of yogurt and a couple blueberry muffins and listen to a lesson on the Old Testament.