Just some fun flowers

From our trip to the West Coast.  I love the college campus we have gone to now 4 years running... I wish there were a way I could attach the SMELL of the flowers as you walk down the pathways on this campus.  I have decided that since this is a Denominational University... that must be the way Jesus smells..... I don't know if you remember the movie "Michael"  Michael was an angel who had come to earth to do some business.  He smelled to all those who got close to him like warm fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookies....

So I think that Jesus smells like these flowers. 

Things I continue to learn about myself.

I think its something we all do, whether we realize it or not.  We watch other people and make calls about ourselves through their events.  I hesitate to call this judging as that opens a different can of worms, but it is a matter of looking around at others and saying, "Hum, I would do that.. or I would not do that".  

The desire to understand my own actions in certain situations has been a driving the "back of my mind" for the last few months and yesterday several events came together in my mind to that Ahhh Haaaa moment.

Those who know me well know to NEVER EVER throw me a surprise party.  No, it would NOT be funny, trust me.  Nor would it be fun for anyone involved, most ESPECIALLY me.

Which brings me to the exact reason I have found for this epiphany. 

I DONT TRUST GRAND GESTURES!!!!!

 

 

Yep, that's just not me, I am not a grand gesture person. 

 

 

Gary Chapman wrote a book some years ago called The 5 Love Languages.   For those who have read any of the series of books that have occurred from that, I have read it and believe that he is on to something there.  I can tell you what I test out as in the book.  I can tell you what love language each of my family members would be.    For me, its Acts of Service and Quality Time in a very big way. 

 

As I have been an adult, which includes being a Daughter, a Wife, a Mother, a Friend, I have watched the way others around me relate to the people around them.  I have listened to what those same people have tried to tell me should be the way I relate to those closest to me.  I have had constant mental conflict between the things that feel natural to me, and the things that apparently feel natural to them.  I have spent YEARS trying to reconcile those feelings.  What I mean by this is that everyone has a BUBBLE around them... some peoples bubble is bigger than others.  I think those that have a big bubble may understand what I am talking about more than those who have a smaller bubble. 

 

My 2nd daughter is the one who first put it in to words for us.  "I love you... I'm glad you love Me... but could you do it from----------->over THERE?   My mother always has referred
to it as being a "touch me not".  Then the same daughter would tell her younger brothers "Bubble, My Bubble is THIS BIG....... MOVE OVER.  

 

The list goes on and on..... But, I on the other hand, have had children of all ages and sizes sleeping in my bed, leaning on me, touching me,

 

This is much more me.  Come in close, sit near me, you can even stand close to me, however, I am NOT good at making eye contact.  And I do not like Grand Gestures. 

One of two things goes through my mind at those times. 

Why do you have to work that hard to convince one of us that you like me that much.... or what does this mean that I owe you.  I mean, how big of an event is this, what do you expect in return and don't tell me nothing because we know that isn't true deep down inside of you.

So just give me a single flower,  cook me dinner, sit and talk about our day.  That's just fine for me.