RIP
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
10 hours walking in NYC Video as seen from my front door
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB8QqQIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Db1XGPvbWn0A&ei=HoNTVKrPIcGhyASmgIL4Bg&usg=AFQjCNE2W0KKqv2NX89BP1PsuW7z-xx1NQ&sig2=hpVcb62W3KU0wmyerbkEKA&bvm=bv.78677474,d.aWw
For any one who has seen this video, I know you have thoughts and feelings. In our culture there is nothing but controversy on how men deal with women. I am not excusing or agreeing with anything in this video but I do have my own comments to share.
Back a world away from here during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in 1991, America was riveted to out news media. Well, at least a group of local business men in a small town in New Mexico were. This group got together at a particular "coffee shop" restaurant at least once a day and several of them went to this place two or three times a day for coffee, conversation, lunch, male bonding. These were all mature men in their 50s and 60s. Most of them happily married men who as I say were all business owners and very upstanding men. As they watched the proceedings, their behavior in the coffee shop began to change. Each morning, they started making comments to their waitresses such as, Why did ya wear THAT to work today? or (remember this?) You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny. After a few weeks of this, one of the waitresses finally breaks down and asks them.. "What is going on?????" The answer from this group was... Well, we have realized thanks to all this stuff that if we come in here like we used to and tell you you look nice today, or you are pretty or even ask how you feel today, you could sue us for sexual harassment.. sooooooo We have no choice if we want to acknowledge you. Hummm gave me something to think about.
Further back in the land of the lost, when I was a teenager we go. I have to say with out bragging in any way, I was blonde, greeneyed, 110 lbs 5' 10" with the girl next door kind of cuteness, I was told.
I was kind of quiet, actually pretty much painfully shy but enjoyed life around me. I cant say that boys my age had a lot to do with me because I was also told that I conveyed an attitude to those my own age of superiority. (Really guys, I was just painfully shy and was trying to not run away from converstaions) But, out in public, I was on the receiving end of many of those kind of "catcalls" that this young woman was experiencing even in our small town. I was NOT the teenager who flirted, who wiggled her tushy to draw attention, who wore the shortest skirts possible, or most of the other popular clothing of the time. I did however have men who were old enough to know better, men in a service organization that my father and grandfather belonged to say inappropriate things to me and actually put their hands on me in inappropriate ways. One night at a party for this organization, one of the men looped his finger through the ring on the zipper to the jumpsuit I was wearing and asked me what would happen if he pulled the golden ring??? After I told him that he would find himself on the floor when that pull would bring my knee into his crotch, he got huffy and walked away.. Yes ladies this was in a crowed room full of upstanding people. My friend who was standing there with me told me that I should Never have said that to this man as he was a friend of our fathers and was in a position to cause my dad and my grandfather "trouble" and it was rude anyway... Ummm no ma'am my parents taught me that I have the right and responsibility to protect myself and what HE did was wrong. But I dindt need to run to my dad or grandfather as I could protect myself. The end of that story was that after several of these episodes with this man and a couple of others, when this organization started a Wives Auxillary to the organization, my mother, my grandmother and I were NOT extended the invitation to join. My mother was told that it was because several of the other wives considered ME TO BE TROUBLE!!!!!!! I was told that all I did was flirt with their husbands.
Watch tv, or movies. Construction workers are many times portrayed as the "type" who shouts rude things at women from up on the rafters as if they have nothing better to do that sit and watch for pretty women, instead of actually BUILDING THAT BUILDING. Then there is the flip side of those same shows.. where the women get upset when the men stop or they catcall at one of them and not another.. it elicits the what's wrong with me feeling in that woman.
For all this, just take a look around the internet, facebook, and other social media. I personally hate it when I am confronted with cartoons and jokes presented by men who have little or no respect for women (in my opinion) who think that those jokes and cartoons are hysterical, that present women as noisy, annoying, ugly, and should only be seen and not heard. Men, let me tell you, these jokes are not funny, they are not even mildly amusing and they do not make us want to be around you to cater to your every need and wish.
Now, that all said, I did not grow up in a city, I did not live as an adult in a city, I do not have a great deal of experience with "cat calls" out in public, I have never been a man, but I believe that this issue is much deeper than it seems. Women really do want to be acknowledged as attractive, even sometimes by a stranger it can make you feel just a little bit better about your world. Men, REAL MEN, want to be able to see an attractive woman and not feel like he is committing a crime.
I think this video was very interesting and very informative in a number of ways that were not really obvious. Go back and watch it a few more times and see all the men who did NOT make this woman feel objectified. Go back and watch it a few more times and see the men who "looked but did not touch". Go back and watch the video a few more times and see the women who were NOT being perused by these "creepy men" And lets start a dialogue about those people.
Just a view from my front window.
For any one who has seen this video, I know you have thoughts and feelings. In our culture there is nothing but controversy on how men deal with women. I am not excusing or agreeing with anything in this video but I do have my own comments to share.
Back a world away from here during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in 1991, America was riveted to out news media. Well, at least a group of local business men in a small town in New Mexico were. This group got together at a particular "coffee shop" restaurant at least once a day and several of them went to this place two or three times a day for coffee, conversation, lunch, male bonding. These were all mature men in their 50s and 60s. Most of them happily married men who as I say were all business owners and very upstanding men. As they watched the proceedings, their behavior in the coffee shop began to change. Each morning, they started making comments to their waitresses such as, Why did ya wear THAT to work today? or (remember this?) You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny. After a few weeks of this, one of the waitresses finally breaks down and asks them.. "What is going on?????" The answer from this group was... Well, we have realized thanks to all this stuff that if we come in here like we used to and tell you you look nice today, or you are pretty or even ask how you feel today, you could sue us for sexual harassment.. sooooooo We have no choice if we want to acknowledge you. Hummm gave me something to think about.
Further back in the land of the lost, when I was a teenager we go. I have to say with out bragging in any way, I was blonde, greeneyed, 110 lbs 5' 10" with the girl next door kind of cuteness, I was told.
I was kind of quiet, actually pretty much painfully shy but enjoyed life around me. I cant say that boys my age had a lot to do with me because I was also told that I conveyed an attitude to those my own age of superiority. (Really guys, I was just painfully shy and was trying to not run away from converstaions) But, out in public, I was on the receiving end of many of those kind of "catcalls" that this young woman was experiencing even in our small town. I was NOT the teenager who flirted, who wiggled her tushy to draw attention, who wore the shortest skirts possible, or most of the other popular clothing of the time. I did however have men who were old enough to know better, men in a service organization that my father and grandfather belonged to say inappropriate things to me and actually put their hands on me in inappropriate ways. One night at a party for this organization, one of the men looped his finger through the ring on the zipper to the jumpsuit I was wearing and asked me what would happen if he pulled the golden ring??? After I told him that he would find himself on the floor when that pull would bring my knee into his crotch, he got huffy and walked away.. Yes ladies this was in a crowed room full of upstanding people. My friend who was standing there with me told me that I should Never have said that to this man as he was a friend of our fathers and was in a position to cause my dad and my grandfather "trouble" and it was rude anyway... Ummm no ma'am my parents taught me that I have the right and responsibility to protect myself and what HE did was wrong. But I dindt need to run to my dad or grandfather as I could protect myself. The end of that story was that after several of these episodes with this man and a couple of others, when this organization started a Wives Auxillary to the organization, my mother, my grandmother and I were NOT extended the invitation to join. My mother was told that it was because several of the other wives considered ME TO BE TROUBLE!!!!!!! I was told that all I did was flirt with their husbands.
Watch tv, or movies. Construction workers are many times portrayed as the "type" who shouts rude things at women from up on the rafters as if they have nothing better to do that sit and watch for pretty women, instead of actually BUILDING THAT BUILDING. Then there is the flip side of those same shows.. where the women get upset when the men stop or they catcall at one of them and not another.. it elicits the what's wrong with me feeling in that woman.
For all this, just take a look around the internet, facebook, and other social media. I personally hate it when I am confronted with cartoons and jokes presented by men who have little or no respect for women (in my opinion) who think that those jokes and cartoons are hysterical, that present women as noisy, annoying, ugly, and should only be seen and not heard. Men, let me tell you, these jokes are not funny, they are not even mildly amusing and they do not make us want to be around you to cater to your every need and wish.
Now, that all said, I did not grow up in a city, I did not live as an adult in a city, I do not have a great deal of experience with "cat calls" out in public, I have never been a man, but I believe that this issue is much deeper than it seems. Women really do want to be acknowledged as attractive, even sometimes by a stranger it can make you feel just a little bit better about your world. Men, REAL MEN, want to be able to see an attractive woman and not feel like he is committing a crime.
I think this video was very interesting and very informative in a number of ways that were not really obvious. Go back and watch it a few more times and see all the men who did NOT make this woman feel objectified. Go back and watch it a few more times and see the men who "looked but did not touch". Go back and watch the video a few more times and see the women who were NOT being perused by these "creepy men" And lets start a dialogue about those people.
Just a view from my front window.
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