So, what do you do when you figure out that certain habits are detrimental to your wellbeing, but they are so ingrained that you don't see things happening until after the situation is over? I'm about to find out.
I am, what the doctor who delivered all 4 of my kids labeled me, "the family hero". This means that I feel like I am the caretaker and fixer of all things in my world.
The problem I have is that somewhere deep inside, thanks to being a teacher for many years, and a homeschooling mom, and deeply concerned for not only those around me, but also for my fellow man and the world around me, I feel like I have to have an answer for everything. Even if I don't really KNOW the answer, when confronted with a situation that is concerning those around me, words just come out my mouth to try to make it better.
It isn't exactly about me being a "know it all" as I don't try to tell everyone else what they should do or pretend to know about things I don't really know about. Its more of a desire to understand and help a person through what ever situation they are in or to explain what's happening to try to keep the peace around me. I have this very deep-seated need to see as many sides to a situation as I can to better understand and formulate a plan.
Example, One of my kids gets annoyed with something that another of my kids did and talks to me about it. I feel driven to explain the behavior or situation so that the annoyed one will not be upset anymore.
Example: When something is going on in the world that is confusing, Why does that person think that that legislation is helpful? I try mentally to put myself there to think it through and understand.
There are many other examples I could give but wont because that isn't my point at the moment. My point is that I need to change this habit. It is proving to be detrimental to not only myself, but to others around me and is not furthering the cause in any way. I have come to understand that all I am doing is making up excuses for other peoples thoughts and behaviors from information I generally don't have to make decisions from. I want to change this behavior to remember that I don't HAVE to have an answer for everything. Its ok.
Here's the catch, however; I have no idea how to stop doing this and just shut up. I thought for a while that I could find a way to catch myself doing this and just keep the words in my head. After all, I have spent a lot of time trying to teach my children, "just because there are words in your head, does not mean in any way that they need to come out your mouth" Seems that has not applied to me.
The new habit I need to learn is to simply be quiet and no matter how expectantly a person looks at me, I simply say something like "Oh". And just stop there.
My mouth has always gotten me in trouble and I try to remember that the Bible tells us over and over that the tongue is a huge problem. There is an old saying that came from somewhere that goes something like "Today, God, send my guardian angel to stand beside me, with is arm around me and his hand over my mouth" I believe that is going to be my prayer request each day when I wake up.
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