Sigh.

My Grandmother used to have a saying.  She used this saying at times when she was very down and life was just getting to her.  She used to say " I want to find a hole to climb in and pull the dirt in over me.  I had not thought about that saying in years until something happened yesterday to remind me of it. 

I have been told at various times in my life that I "overthink" things.  I am very sure that is a true statement, I do.  But few of those people understand WHY I over think. 

One day when my son S. was only 6 years old and in first grade, I had had ANOTHER call from his teacher in the first 3 weeks of school.   I was trying to figure out what was actually going on in his class.  I asked him, trying to phrase things in a way my 6 year old could understand, is part of the problem that you think about things during class that aren't what you are supposed to be doing?  his answer to me was, "Yes mom, I guess I think about things that no one else is interested in and sometimes, my brain thinks so much that it totally isolates me." 

Hummmm I wonder where he gets THAT from?


There was another time when I was asked why I was just sitting there, doing nothing instead of being part of the surrounding action.  At that point, my answer was... if I sit here and do nothing and say nothing and think nothing.... I have a 50% chance of doing it right.

So, if I crawl in a hole, pull a blanket in over my head, stop thinking I know what I'm doing and do otherwise nothing, say nothing.... I might not be self  centered, or would that just make me more so?  Cause yeah, I don't do anything for the sake of those around me NOW.