The answers, as usual for me, aren't that simple. So very much has happened to change the course of my life in the last 8 months that I was not even truly sure where I started from. So, I decided to go all the way back through the group and see what I shared through each step. I know that I pretty much went AWOL during several months of the experiment because my mother unexpectedly decided to leave this world, and then hot on her heals my mother in law decided to take a little longer in the process but to begin her own journey into what happens next. This dumped HUGE amounts of stress and disorientation upon my little brow and something had to give. I really didn't STOP my participation in the experiment, I just stopped sharing as much. The only way I could honestly cope during that season was to just crawl into my shell and hide. I have never been good at letting anyone else into my feelings, or heck for that matter, I have just never been good at FEELING. How I came to the belief that my feelings are an inconvenience, over blown, and simply just not necessary is the subject of a whole other blog post, but there they are.
So the way this has ended up being written is kind of two phase. BLUE words are how each month actually went according to my journal and my blog and face book posts.
The ORANGE words at the bottom are what I am actually taking from the project as I look through it all today. What my thoughts and plans for the future are.
So the way this has ended up being written is kind of two phase. BLUE words are how each month actually went according to my journal and my blog and face book posts.
The ORANGE words at the bottom are what I am actually taking from the project as I look through it all today. What my thoughts and plans for the future are.
Anyway, as I go back through each months postings I find myself starting out in January with high hopes for getting this family feeding thing under control, getting us all healthy and organized and on the road to not living excessively food wise. Just reading what I wrote somehow makes me want to gag in some weird way. The part at the end of that blog where I was talking about my own thought life. About for some reason feeling superior to those who were not participating in this program, as if I were doing something so grand and noble for the world by planning a menu and using the food I had in the house rather than letting it go bad and throwing it away. WOW, so maybe one of the "take aways" is going to turn out to be "Get Over Yourself, Girlfriend".
My last post for the month of January I was kind of whining over trying to feed to difficult to feed people. I was not feeling well at that moment myself as I had been down with some kind of stomach virus. I made the comment that I had one more week of January to go and who knew what that week was going to hold and I might be able to turn it around yet. Little did I know that in that last week, my mother would be admitted to the hospital, massive blood clot would be found which would lead to a diagnosis of "its cancer... just all cancer in there" The doctor estimated that we could get some good nutrition in her and get her set up at home for a good couple of months, but that didn't happen, 4 days later before we could get her stable enough to bring home, she passed away. So now I knew why she was having such a hard time eating. Cancer, a lot of it and massive pain she refused to admit to right up to her final breath. Food, great way to start this project.
February 2 I posted that life had taken a sharp right turn and I was backing out. Mom passed on February 5
I didn't post anything in February on clothing but I can go back and tell you now that we had moved in to care for my mom in September, somewhere around a year ago. We pretty much took the clothes we were wearing and Malachi had brought us each a few more. I counted at one point and wrote down in my journal that in February I had to choose from 3 pair of jeans, 5 pair of socks, two pair of shoes, and approximately 10 shirts. Two dress or blouse/skirt combinations and one bra completed the package. After I had lived from September to February with that combination. ( oh and two sets of pajama like clothes) I was pretty sure that clothing was not an issue for me. I didn't even really have an idea of what clothing I had left behind at our house.
March: Possessions: Just wow. So many of them. I did spend the month clearing out enough things to actually MOVE in to this house but still most of my belongings are not here.
April: Pause
May=Media Month
Media is really not a hard topic for me. I look back at my blog and my Facebook posts and it seems that Jonathan and I took Mothers Day Sunday off and just RESTED. I'm pretty sure that day involved watching a movie or something.
April: Pause
May=Media Month
Media is really not a hard topic for me. I look back at my blog and my Facebook posts and it seems that Jonathan and I took Mothers Day Sunday off and just RESTED. I'm pretty sure that day involved watching a movie or something.
June Waste
Total Fail. Not even going to discuss it. Too much emotion... just too much.
July: Spending We doubled down on financial principals and control of our spending. This is not easy folks and less easy when more than one though process is involved. We found that if everyone in your household is not on board and on the same page and any other cliché you want to use, things get a bit muddy in the peace and tranquility of the home. For me, its going to take another year to two years to dig us out to the point of financial freedom but we are truly developing a plan to get there finally. It really is good to be walking arm and arm on this one. We have come a really long way, have a ways to go but are really getting there!!!
August: Stress. The 7 prayer pauses and observing the Sabbath. So much information in there. So much research I did. So many scriptures I am trying to memorize. Still not doing very well at that but of all, this one is the most important and the one to keep working on the hardest. I have learned several things from out in the secular world about the importance to our digestion to take a moment and pray over a meal.. INCREDIBLE... How would God know that taking just a moment or two to stop and pray resets your brain from the business of the day to the process of properly digesting our food.... and how would the secular world know it when we don't ….. go figure. So much of this is going to continue. Sabbath, Yeah, that is a hard one for our culture to observe but a friend taught me that God really DEMANDS it from us, its not just a good idea. More research there as well.
Total Fail. Not even going to discuss it. Too much emotion... just too much.
July: Spending We doubled down on financial principals and control of our spending. This is not easy folks and less easy when more than one though process is involved. We found that if everyone in your household is not on board and on the same page and any other cliché you want to use, things get a bit muddy in the peace and tranquility of the home. For me, its going to take another year to two years to dig us out to the point of financial freedom but we are truly developing a plan to get there finally. It really is good to be walking arm and arm on this one. We have come a really long way, have a ways to go but are really getting there!!!
August: Stress. The 7 prayer pauses and observing the Sabbath. So much information in there. So much research I did. So many scriptures I am trying to memorize. Still not doing very well at that but of all, this one is the most important and the one to keep working on the hardest. I have learned several things from out in the secular world about the importance to our digestion to take a moment and pray over a meal.. INCREDIBLE... How would God know that taking just a moment or two to stop and pray resets your brain from the business of the day to the process of properly digesting our food.... and how would the secular world know it when we don't ….. go figure. So much of this is going to continue. Sabbath, Yeah, that is a hard one for our culture to observe but a friend taught me that God really DEMANDS it from us, its not just a good idea. More research there as well.
End results:
Food
I can also say that I still struggle with the menu planning aspect of all of this but its mostly because I now spend most of my month alone. Jonathan is generally out on the road 15-25 days of the month so meal prep for me tends to be cook something.. eat it for 4 meals, cook something else. Some times I cook two things and rotate those things for 8 days. Lunch is generally a handful or two of fresh veggies and some hummus, a hand full of nuts and a bottle of water. Some days I eat breakfast, some I don't, boiled eggs or cheese tortilla. When Jonathan is in town we either eat out or I go shop by the day again as I'm never really sure how many days at a time he is going to decide to stay in.
Clothing:
I have bought a few things since February to upgrade my wardrobe because I am doing more meeting with people in our business setting that I feel the need to look a little more professional from time to time and as I went through my mothers clothes I found several outfits that I liked but had honestly never seen HER wear so I kept them. I haven't counted but I am still pretty sure that I have fewer than 100 items hanging in my closet and most of them can work together. I do have several more pair of shoes too but less than 10, for various weather and styles of dress. My goal is still to lose about 40 pounds and that will alter my wardrobe a lot.
Posessions: From March to now, with things that I have read in Jen Hatmaker's books and seen around me more closely I find that this is where The Evil One has tried to make the most inroads on my peace of mind. Right at the moment, I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF. WAY, WAY more than I need to be sure BUT..... extenuating circumstances, already. While some have gone to great lengths to make me feel guilty about what I have, God has also gone to great lengths to assure me that I have nothing to feel guilty for, so I am no longer in that mental state. There will be a point when I will be back down to the amount of things that my family and I NEED to function in life but in the mean time, it is going to be a very slow and somewhat steady process to get there. I purchased very few of the things I am now the proud owner of so I don't need to feel guilty there. My first obligation is to figure out if there are items in my possession that a member of my family needs or wants, then after that I will figure out what to do with the rest. Sorry, this is becoming a bit of a rant and I will stop here.
April: Pause
Because Elizabeth and I were both having a bit of a hard time coping with all that was going on in our lives and I was having to be out of town so much in March and April the decision was made to pause for the month of April and now I kind of regret that decision as the pause seems to have some what derailed us all from that point forward. I appreciate the break but if it were to happen again I wouldn't choose taking the break but pushing on as part of the Sacrifice of my Fast to God...
Media May: The first time I went through 7 I broke a lot of media habits and have continued in that vein. Somewhere in here this summer we figured out what "saving by bundling: was actually costing to have satellite TV in two rooms, two land line telephones that no one ever called on and the interweb. So we canceled everything and moved to a different Internet provider. We now have a fire stick or what ever that is, I still fail to know how to use most of what it covers. I watch a very few things on Netflix. I watch mostly old movies and television show channels of the antenna and if it is even ON its turned on to music, (mostly smooth jazz) I do read books checked out from the public library on my Ipad but pretty much that is all the Ipad does. I have not attached any of my social media to it. I'm on my lap top for mostly work related items or blog posts or pod casts but rarely much more than that. My phone is a phone that I can use to look up information on when I need it. I have clocked it and when I am home alone I spend less than 10 hours a week with the screen on. I'm OK with that.
Media May: The first time I went through 7 I broke a lot of media habits and have continued in that vein. Somewhere in here this summer we figured out what "saving by bundling: was actually costing to have satellite TV in two rooms, two land line telephones that no one ever called on and the interweb. So we canceled everything and moved to a different Internet provider. We now have a fire stick or what ever that is, I still fail to know how to use most of what it covers. I watch a very few things on Netflix. I watch mostly old movies and television show channels of the antenna and if it is even ON its turned on to music, (mostly smooth jazz) I do read books checked out from the public library on my Ipad but pretty much that is all the Ipad does. I have not attached any of my social media to it. I'm on my lap top for mostly work related items or blog posts or pod casts but rarely much more than that. My phone is a phone that I can use to look up information on when I need it. I have clocked it and when I am home alone I spend less than 10 hours a week with the screen on. I'm OK with that.
June: Waste Takeaways
Its hard to deal with throwing things away being a sin when you are so overwhelmed with stuff that no one wants, needs or should be burdened with. Possessions VS Waste... uuggh EMOTION, just WAY TO MUCH EMOTION!!!!!! Later I will tackle that one. And still throwing too much food away... Got to continue to work on that one or buy some chickens.
July, Spending: For This month I pause and Pray. God, give me the words of Grace to say and show your love here as we have all "been there" in some form or another.
I have observed those around me and my own situation much more closely this trip through training for the race God TRULY wants us running. I see THIS ONE to be maybe the most dangerous month to date. Each of the previous months has been placed there to teach us to live with out the things that get in the way of our focus on God, to eliminate the things that take up our time and resources and OUR MIND that we SHOULD be spending walking with God, spending time in the one place we will get to know Him and his wishes for us the best, His Word. It is a very hard month to play out if everyone in your house is not "on the same page". It is the month that it is easiest to just say " Did God REALLY Say?" and move right along the way we see is right in our own eyes.
The other 5 are much easier to tailor to your personal circumstances. (You may drive a beemer and I may ride a bike. Neither is right or wrong particularly) (I may have 25 pair of shoes, you may have 3, it may depend on each of our job choices and after work activities to dictate how many each of us needs rather than how much money we have) But finances is just a bit different. Money is what buys everything we addressed in the first 5 months, so if we are eliminating those items in our worlds and being more conscious of how we spend our money and who that spending is affecting, then it should go with out saying that God has some ideas on how we should accumulate and spend that money. And really the only way to know what that is, is to dive deeply into His Word. I know that sometimes it is hard see that part in the Bible that talks about not being able to serve two masters. What does that REALLY mean, anyway?
I have also seen through our spending month and beyond that this topic has caused more arguments among the group, among families, among couples, among friends than anything in any other month. Did God REALLY SAY? Sure, but its ok for me to...…... we all do it.
There are more things said in the Bible about money and money related items than pretty much anything else, so it MUST be an important topic to God.
And last but not least, my take away from the Stress month. What I have come to see, and I don't know if this was Jen Hatmaker's plan or her wise editor, or The Counsel or strictly Gods, but this time through the project I see that months 1-5 are all about US.....How do I want do deal with MY food, My clothes, MY possessions, MY media outlets (and really this is also about recreational time in general), the things I waste. Then we do a little switch to, because of all this STUFF that is in MY world, I have to decide something, am I going to serve God? or Money.....how is God calling Me still to use MY money. See the little shift in perception there? Maybe its not all about ME??? But, Man, its kinda hard to get out of the its about Me and My world and My stuff mind set, isn't it?
So, that brings us to the biggest switch of all! Now that our stuff is out of the way, and we have figured out that we want to Honor GOD in all that we have and all we do and we want to rule our money and not let it rule us so that we can honor God, we can now get down to the nitty gritty of this whole thing. How are we going to Worship our Lord? Are we going to continue to do what we have always done up to this point? Are we going to just replace all that stuff we eliminated in the months before with more, or to just substitute something else about US in those bits of time and space we have created? Or are going to take the focus off of ourselves put it on HIM? How does HE want us to spend the time he has given us? Maybe now if we each ask what we should do from here, I think the answer would be pretty clear.
And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself".
And now, we are free to do that much more readily, aren't we?
THIS is the time to dive in to the Living Water and start swimming!
I have observed those around me and my own situation much more closely this trip through training for the race God TRULY wants us running. I see THIS ONE to be maybe the most dangerous month to date. Each of the previous months has been placed there to teach us to live with out the things that get in the way of our focus on God, to eliminate the things that take up our time and resources and OUR MIND that we SHOULD be spending walking with God, spending time in the one place we will get to know Him and his wishes for us the best, His Word. It is a very hard month to play out if everyone in your house is not "on the same page". It is the month that it is easiest to just say " Did God REALLY Say?" and move right along the way we see is right in our own eyes.
The other 5 are much easier to tailor to your personal circumstances. (You may drive a beemer and I may ride a bike. Neither is right or wrong particularly) (I may have 25 pair of shoes, you may have 3, it may depend on each of our job choices and after work activities to dictate how many each of us needs rather than how much money we have) But finances is just a bit different. Money is what buys everything we addressed in the first 5 months, so if we are eliminating those items in our worlds and being more conscious of how we spend our money and who that spending is affecting, then it should go with out saying that God has some ideas on how we should accumulate and spend that money. And really the only way to know what that is, is to dive deeply into His Word. I know that sometimes it is hard see that part in the Bible that talks about not being able to serve two masters. What does that REALLY mean, anyway?
I have also seen through our spending month and beyond that this topic has caused more arguments among the group, among families, among couples, among friends than anything in any other month. Did God REALLY SAY? Sure, but its ok for me to...…... we all do it.
There are more things said in the Bible about money and money related items than pretty much anything else, so it MUST be an important topic to God.
And last but not least, my take away from the Stress month. What I have come to see, and I don't know if this was Jen Hatmaker's plan or her wise editor, or The Counsel or strictly Gods, but this time through the project I see that months 1-5 are all about US.....How do I want do deal with MY food, My clothes, MY possessions, MY media outlets (and really this is also about recreational time in general), the things I waste. Then we do a little switch to, because of all this STUFF that is in MY world, I have to decide something, am I going to serve God? or Money.....how is God calling Me still to use MY money. See the little shift in perception there? Maybe its not all about ME??? But, Man, its kinda hard to get out of the its about Me and My world and My stuff mind set, isn't it?
So, that brings us to the biggest switch of all! Now that our stuff is out of the way, and we have figured out that we want to Honor GOD in all that we have and all we do and we want to rule our money and not let it rule us so that we can honor God, we can now get down to the nitty gritty of this whole thing. How are we going to Worship our Lord? Are we going to continue to do what we have always done up to this point? Are we going to just replace all that stuff we eliminated in the months before with more, or to just substitute something else about US in those bits of time and space we have created? Or are going to take the focus off of ourselves put it on HIM? How does HE want us to spend the time he has given us? Maybe now if we each ask what we should do from here, I think the answer would be pretty clear.
And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself".
And now, we are free to do that much more readily, aren't we?
THIS is the time to dive in to the Living Water and start swimming!
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