Hello, My name is Sherry and I'm a stuff and things junkie. I'm not sure what "sobriety" will look like in this process but I'm getting ready to start trip 2 through it.
Understanding that I need to make it through this journey again started in June, really . My mother is 84 and in June started having some health problems that we did not understand. After several months of tests and poking and prodding and seeing one doctor after another she was diagnosed with primarily a liver condition. During this time she became very weak and unsure of staying alone in her house so, POOF. Over night Jonathan and I moved in to her house. By move in, I mean we put sheets on the bed in the "spare room" took enough clothes to get through the week and our pillows. Since then I have moved a few cooking utensils that I rely on, cleaned out another bedroom to set up as my craft room which has actually gone no where else..., brought my rocking chair and sewing table and that is as far as I have gotten since somewhere in September. At some point my brain just shut down on me because all I could do was look around me at all the things from over 60 years of living in THIS house.... walking back in to the hoarder like filth in the house that has my name on the deed... and looking around at the business property that has been collecting clutter on almost 6 acres for almost 59 years. What am I supposed to DO with all this stuff? It nearly all cost SOMEONE money, isn't that like throwing away money? Couldn't someone benefit from something? You know the whole idea of your trash may be someone elses treasure... how do I KNOW what is someone elses treasure? I could spend the next 10 years picking an item around here and then finding someone else who needs it... I am not even kidding, folks, it is THAT BAD around here. Not to mention there are things that, if I could sell them, would pay off a bill or two that would declutter that part of all 3 of my lives as well. (yes, I live basically three lives... 1) my business world where I manage three businesses, care for all that stuff that is burying me alive.....2) The life I live here in my mom's house trying to keep her as healthy as possible and keep Jonathan as healthy as possible with the resourses that I am in control of. My Mom is much more concerned about "neat and tidy" than I have ever been since I found out perfection does Not exist and I gave up trying... somewhere around 10 or 11 and Jonathan is far less concerned about anything related to neat and tidy other than clean socks and underware. Our cleaning styles have ALWAYS been at odds with each other so as you can imagine this is creating added stress in my head, plus no one in this house sleeps... well at least not at NIGHT.
Stop action and move on.......and 3) My life, and where my stuff is actually at.. all my crafting stuff, ( I had finally gotten to the point that I could have a place to do my crafts... I had made curtains for that room that fit my bizzare personality was waiting to hang them.. and then I moved. I'm not a big shoe person.. but all but 2 pair of shoes and one pair of boots are at that house.... I think I only have 3 more pair there and obviously have made it through months with out them... but...... My jewelry is there, I don't wear much but from time to time it just speaks to me to get me through the day. And somewhat MOST importantly to me, books, and my essential oils... (I have the MOST ESSENTIAL ones with me.. hahahaha) but the rest are calling my name but I really don't have room for them anywhere here. And being able to just have time OFF DUTY.... That place represents off duty to me. Just Sunday afternoon.. but enough.
Hummm, Ok that short explanation turned in to a total Brain Dump.....
Back to our regularly scheduled program.......
The short version is that there is just too much in my life at this point and something has to give, bug there is nothing that can give. I cannot loose track of my Savior in all of this messy life I live and I'm having a harder and harder time hearing.
I tend to be a lot like how Jen Hatmaker describes her self.... ALL IN or All out. My tendency on anything is to over complicate things to get where I want to go, therefore I cant keep up and I quit... Hummmm Old Testament? I love systems it seems, I tend toward the OCD that way.. Systems and knowing what I am doing and what my long term goal is makes me comfortable and happy,.......... until the people who are also involved fail to see the importance to me of following those systems and either fail to do so or simply tell me it is completely unnecessary and they are not going to do it.... Until the crisis comes. Then I crash and burn and give up and feel fairly certain that nothing is EVER going to change or be different or not simply lead from one crisis to the next... when if they would just see the need for that system, we would NOT HAVE TO HAVE these adrenaline rush based crises every other day and life would be much more present. But trying to remember that this journey is mine alone, I have to figure out how to include those around me with out including them... Make sense? Anyone wonder why I don't LIKE riding Rollercoasters? Because my head is enough of a rollercoaster on an every day minute by minute basis... who needs a mechanical version????
Does anyone ELSE wonder how I even get ANYTHING done?
Man this first part is turning in to a book.
so again, Back to our regularly scheduled program. Food month.
I have for about 2 weeks now tried to figure out what my end goal was going to be. I have changed my goal about 5 times after listening to other people who are jumping on board with me, I MUST figure out the RIGHT, most ACCEPTABLE goal and then I started actually reading the BOOK of Jens, not just the Bible Study... OH NO, I'm not doing this because I am adopting or feel a special burden for a third world country at this moment.. Whats wrong with me????? Panic set in.... If I'm not doing this for the "RIGHT REASON" then why am I doing it... Should I do this.. or that.. or that thing over there.... Lack of sleep crept in.... (I'm not even kidding, it has been that dramatic in my head)
So this morning.. it came to me. (that still small voice when I had a chance to hear it) "You know how last week you were totally distressed over throwing an entire trash can full of food away? Hey, maybe your goal should be to figure out how to NOT throw out food" Just that. And ALL of that.... how simple yet how complex. Yesterday, I went to Walmart and bought a food sealer. I had been planning to do that anyway because of the food loss around here. ( I figured out that no matter what we say, we really don't eat left overs.... I mean, if I cook something and I can reserve it either in the same form or an altered form one more time in the week but that is it. so enter the food sealer) We also purchased an instant pot right after Thanksgiving that I am loving.
So after a LONG I'm sure less than entertaining build up.. (for anyone who is still here) Here are my goals for Chapter 1, Food
1) Plan Menus ahead of time and be able to mix and match recipes for the next months of "winter" plan 4 sets of menus for each season of the year to be able to shop as seasonally as possible.
2) Eliminate as many chemicals and preservatives as possible from our diet. This is necessary for the health conditions that are in this house besides the fact that one of us needs to not loose any more weight and the rest of us very much need to.
3) Learn Portion Control.. Excess means excess...... eat too much, weigh too much, hurt too much, etc.
4) Shop as infrequently as possible. Because the title of this is the 7 experiment, I'm thinking I have to include something with that number so it makes sense to say that I want to go to the grocery store 7 or fewer times in the month instead of almost daily like I have been doing.. that is where the planning ahead must come in.
5) Eat out fewer than 7 times in the month
and
6) Use the tools that I have at my command to eliminate food waste. By using those tools I can freeze more that can just be dropped in a pot of boiling water in controlled portions to be happier, healthier and spend my time doing other things.
and of course it has to be because I really kinda am OCD
7) Get this kitchen pared down and organized to produce all the other goals to get us to a happier, healthier point that is sustainable.
Too much? Probably so I'm sure it will change over the month but honestly, health and sustainability are the things I must reach.
These are MY plans this month.. Lets see that Gods are..... shall we?
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