Changing Patterns

So, what do you do when you figure out that certain habits are detrimental to your wellbeing, but they are so ingrained that you don't see things happening until after the situation is over?  I'm about to find out. 

I am, what the doctor who delivered all 4 of my kids labeled me,  "the family hero".  This means that I feel like I am the caretaker and fixer of all things in my world. 

The problem I have is that somewhere deep inside, thanks to being a teacher for many years, and a homeschooling mom, and deeply concerned for not only those around me, but also for my fellow man and the world around me,  I feel like I have to have an answer for everything.  Even if I don't really KNOW the answer, when confronted with a situation that is concerning those around me, words just come out my mouth to try to make it better. 

It isn't exactly about me being a "know it all" as I don't try to tell everyone else what they should do or pretend to know about things I don't really know about.  Its more of a desire to understand and help a person through what ever situation they are in or to explain what's happening to try to keep the peace around me.  I have this very deep-seated need to see as many sides to a situation as I can to better understand and formulate a plan. 

Example,  One of my kids gets annoyed with something that another of my kids did and talks to me about it.  I feel driven to explain the behavior or situation so that the annoyed one will not be upset anymore. 

Example:  When something is going on in the world that is confusing, Why does that person think that that legislation is helpful?  I try mentally to put myself there to think it through and understand.

There are many other examples I could give but wont because that isn't my point at the moment.  My point is that I need to change this habit. It is proving to be detrimental to not only myself, but to others around me and is not furthering the cause in any way.  I have come to understand that all I am doing is making up excuses for other peoples thoughts and behaviors from information I generally don't have to make decisions from.  I want to change this behavior to remember that I don't HAVE to have an answer for everything.  Its ok. 

Here's the catch, however; I have no idea how to stop doing this and just shut up.  I thought for a while that I could find a way to catch myself doing this and just keep the words in my head.  After all, I have spent a lot of time trying to teach my children, "just because there are words in your head, does not mean in any way that they need to come out your mouth"  Seems that has not applied to me.

The new habit I need to learn is to simply be quiet and no matter how expectantly a person looks at me, I simply say something like "Oh".  And just stop there. 

My mouth has always gotten me in trouble and I try to remember that the Bible tells us over and over that the tongue is a huge problem.  There is an old saying that came from somewhere that goes something like "Today, God, send my guardian angel to stand beside me, with is arm around me and his hand over my mouth"  I believe that is going to be my prayer request each day when I wake up. 

Stardate 3/19/2013 What Now?

Hurray for me!!!!! Day two I am up at 4:30 and off to business. I have stayed busier than yesterday so I am only on my third cup of coffee. I am however moving more slowly than I had hoped I would. While planning to spend 10 minutes per room today to begin the straightening and decluttering process, I ended up spending 20 minutes each in the livingroom and diningroom, I also had to spend a little more than the 5 minute wipedown that I had planned for there. The good thing is that all of those rooms look almost decent at the moment. I see a great deal more to do when I walk in the room but I'm sure that most other people wouldn't see the things I see.
I also have finished loading the dishwasher and started it running, put a load of clothes in to wash, which is now in the dryer with the 2nd load in the washer. Also, in the oven is a loaf of banana walnut bread for a treat today. I have NOT done well at getting food in the family in the early morning so the bananas were going bad and had to go somewhere fast. Banana bread it is!!!!

I have gathered 2 bags of trash so far today to head for the dumpster. I cannot figure out how to cut the trash among this group but I feel very responsible for filling an entire land fill from my home and business alone.

I still have another 10 minutes to spend in the kitchen which should cover unloading the dishwasher and putting the things I have used this morning in it. I plan to spend 10 minutes in the master bath and 10 more minutes in the master bedroom, as well.

Right now I had to sit down for a few minutes. While my knee down to my ankle is somewhat sore from my fall yesterday, as long as I stay on it oddly enough, it doesnt hurt that much. My shoulder and neck are a different story however. I have done a lot of laundry and folding in the last 3 days plus the things I have done over my head so they feel pretty tender at the moment and probably adding in the fall I am having to take moving my left arm very slowly.

I am going to use this time to listen to one of my Old Testament lessons for about 30 minutes then back at it till time to leave for work.

I am also spending time honestly asking myself why I am doing each of the things I am doing and what my motive is. I honestly believe that my motives are what I think they are but I am having to rethink somethings to make sure. This makes each task take longer at the moment as well.

My lecture series that I am watching are quite honestly for me. The natural healing one is for all of us because its my job to feed and nurse my family and I want to know as much as possible for future events in the world that could cause my to be the family doctor for sure. No one else needs to be as excited about this learning as I am because it is one of those behind the scenes things that goes un noticed. But the Old Testament class is strictly because I love learing more about the Bible.

End of transmission for the moment.

New Direction: By me; for me.

Stardate:  3.18.2013.6am

   I still believe beyond doubt that no man is an island; however at this point, the direction of this blog will be changing.  As of today, this blog is focused by me for me to keep me on track. 

Monday, Up at 4:30 coffee on and washer and dryer started.  I have to continue on with the laundry that I was not able to complete over the weekend.  I have most of 3 loads folded and put away so far but I have run out of hangers so until the boys are up I cant finish hanging those things up.  I have the sheets off the bed in to wash since I had REALLY intended to have that done yesterday but did not get to it.  The exciting part is tonight will be clean sheet night.. No DOG HAIR....

I am also trying to break ozzy of the habit of getting up on the bed in the night.  That will help with the dog hair in the bed as well.  

The house continues to be a wreck but I have devised an idea this morning that I hope will help.  If I set the timer for even 10 minutes at a time, I can make somewhat of a difference in the house over time.  If I start front to back I can start while the coffee is "making" in the morning even if I forget to set the timer on the pot at night. 

4:40-4:50 Livingroom,
4:50-5:00 Diningroom
5:00-5:10 Kitchen
5:10-5:20 Laundry Room
5:20-5:40 Back bathroom
5:40-6:00 Master Bedroom

Somewhere after that I should be able to just run through the front bathroom to keep it going as well.  Today I will both mentally and physically prepare for this new pattern to be established.  I will also be "decluttering" during these 10 minute forays into organization. 

I am really hoping that doing this will free up my weekends to outside tasks:  Painting the outside of the house, Gardening, yard care, cleaning and organizing the garage and storage room. 


Now, add to the first list.  Sheets  through the washer, dryer and now on the bed.  That makes 4 loads that I have folded and put away for this day another load in the dryer driving, and the last load for the day in the washer.  Blueberry muffins baked and out of the oven, dishwasher loaded, dishes washed and unloaded.  Meat cooked to be ready for fajitas for dinner tonight.  I have to go to the store and get tortillas, guacamole, onions, sour cream and maybe something else, but not sure.

Now, I have an hour till time to leave for work so I believe I will start coffee, pot 2, have a cup of yogurt and a couple blueberry muffins and listen to a lesson on the Old Testament.